Conspiracy Theory Number 672
by R.S.Willow
Summary: Bella wasn't always messed up. I figured it out.


**DRAMATIC VOICE: PREPARE FOR AN OVERLY-LONG EXPLINATION FOR WHY THIS EXISTS FROM AN AUTHROR THAT REALLY DOESN'T WANT TO WORK. (SKIP IF YOU WANT)**

Robin: Holy Mother of Tacos! People! I have figured it out! It took me 3 months and so many people shoving fan art in my face at deviantart (I swear if I see another Jack Frost picture, I'm going- happy thoughts) ANYWAY! I figured out two very crucial and important things involving Rise of the Guardians. I wasn't even planning on parodying it…on the to-do list with Beauty and the Beast and Nemo. Okay back to my things!

One: Jack Frost bought his hoodie at the local magical Wal-Mart. That is my only explanation for how he acquired said hoodie. Thank you magical elves of Wal-Mart for making him marketable. The cape would have been cooler with more epic-ness and possible character design ops that would have made Jack more than a pretty boy, but angsty hoodie of ang-

Fangirls: Behave...

Robin: Okay, back to the reason this exists! Two: I have discovered that Jack Frost is…you know what, I'll just tell you my theory in story format with more than two movie references. Spelling mistakes and stuff are going to happen. This was written in like twenty minutes, not even.

**DRAMATIC VOICE: THIS IS A STORY PRODUCED OUT OF A WEIRD MIND. THAT'S ALL YOU NEEDED TO KNOW.**

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I never really thought much about anything as a kid. I remember laughing a lot and having fun. I remember going to New Hampshire for some reason for a year. I still can't remember why and I'm not going to bother to ask. I had plenty of friends there. It was probably the one time that I can remember really smiling. I'm not saying I'm depressed now…kind of. But, then, things were simpler. Playing in the snow every winter was fantastic. I'm ten now, a lot of weird things are fantastic to me now, but still. I think the main reason I was even able to experience this was because of superman- but we'll get to that later, don't worry.

Most of my winter was building snowmen with my friend Lizzy and her brothers along with some other neighborhood kids that I can't really remember. I remember being one of the smallest of them, but that's it. We were all hyperactive and running around like crazy idiots. I remember Lizzy because her mom used to make us hot chocolate and she spilled some on my head once and then we became friends. To this day I still have no idea if it was on purpose or not.

Either way, I think I spent a lot of time gawking at her brothers, because in every memory I have of New Hampshire, there right there! Everywhere! All I can see is them in the picture and I can picture my stupid face just breathing with my mouth wide open. I could never decide which one I wanted to stare at more and I remember wanting them to fight for my attention. I don't know, I think I was a little messed up as a kid. But, I'm making sure that'll never happen again.

Anyway, they were kind of the leaders that would knock on everyone's door and get them outside to begin with. Snowball fights and forts and one giant snowman that took all the neighborhood kids to build were the extent of my winter experience. I was more cautious than anything for the remainder of my time there.

I was around six maybe seven years old. I can never remember quite right. Either way, I was stumbling through a pile of snow when I saw- oh drat I forgot to talk about superman. This is bad storytelling. I feel like my dad whenever he tells a joke. "Oh yeah, you have to know the fish was dead." Drat. Okay… I'll just get it out of the way.

I said I wasn't a daredevil, but that kind of changed when we were minding our own business in the middle of the street. I remember building a snowman with Lizzy on the other side and maybe two other kids when I was suddenly grabbed up by a teenager in a superman costume. He spun me around and was probably teasing, but I was mortified and screaming. He dropped me and went after Lizzy, cape and tights galore. And then I was running around the snow, trying to avoid the teenager dressed like Superman. I don't even know if he was related to one of the kids. I hope so. Either way, somehow, I ended up on a sled and was pushed down the street, which was at a high-speed slope, through town, past Lizzy's house, across her yard and into the forest. I'm kind of a klutz. Still, I'm working on it. Hopefully I'll improve in a few years.

So, that's how I got into the forest to begin with. Even though I crashed, I don't remember being sore at all. All I remember is losing the sled from under me and then looking up into the forest. There, sitting in the middle of the forest, tossing a snowball between his bare hands was a strange teenager. He was really pale and his hair had no color. He didn't wear shoes and he was handsome. I completely forgot about the sled and just walked towards him. The closer I got, the more I saw of him and I realized he had no shoes on, no gloves, and only a hoodie. Wasn't he cold?

He was whistling something and I tried to copy it. But, that was the year I had no front teeth so it was just the sound of me exhaling at weird intervals. I still can't whistle, but it wasn't nearly as bad then. The noise caught his attention though, and he stared straight at me. I stared straight back.

I didn't like just staring with my mouth gaping open. Mom told me it was a bad habit. I snapped my mouth shut and just asked, breaking the silence, "Have you seen my sled. I thought it was around here somewhere?"

The boy froze, "What?" His voice was deeper than I expected.

"My sled, have you seen it?"

The teenager looked behind him as if he was expecting someone behind him. He gave me this weird look and then started laughing. I laughed too…not really sure what else to do. "Okay then," I started walking away, looking for my sled.

"No, no," the teenager called stepping in front of me, "Don't worry, it's just down there." He had a huge smile on his face like he had just gotten a Christmas present. He could do with a few boots.

I followed him and sure enough, there was a sled. Thinking back, I think I was a little too trusting of that stranger. But, he turned out to be a good guy. He was nice, besides being weird and always carrying a big stick everywhere. He said his name was Jack. He looked more like a Leo or a Chris to me, but what did I know? I remember going back after an hour of just talking to him. He was really eager to just talk. I don't really know why. He told me at one point, jokingly, that he was a spirit.

The more I thought about it that week, the more I started eliminating what kind of spirit he could be. He did have white hair. I didn't know about hair-dye then and so I figured he wasn't an elf. He didn't have the ears. He wasn't a gremlin- oh drat. I forgot to mention this again! I should not tell stories about relationships ever. I leave out so many details until the last minute. Um…okay. I used to be a big mythology kid because my Mom read me a lot of fairytales and most of the books around my house were my Mom's myth book kind of things. I didn't like classic vampires or werewolves; I'm kind of warming up to them. I liked the fairies, mermaids, all the mainstream things and some of the Scottish and guys with the pointy hats type myths. Believed in all of them, too. Those were cool with funny names. Anyway, I was going through a list of spirits he could be in my head. I concluded he was a sprite at the end.

I remember going back the next day just on a whim and he was still there! I still talked to Jack and tried to introduce him to the rest of the group but they kept saying he was my imaginary friend. I think it was some kind of elaborate prank. Jack didn't mind it. I told him about my conclusion that he was a sprite in the most mockingly dramatic way I could, he laughed. I didn't blame him. He never came close to the fires the older kids made outside so we could roast marshmallows and warm our toes before going back into the snow. He just sat by the snowman. Once, I don't know how, but he made this cool pattern on the arms of the snowman that looked like ferns. Everyone said it was ice, but it saw him. I saw him make it happen.

I remember running out of things to say after a while, but Jack didn't mind. Most of the time, he'd play a game with me. Something like not touching the lava, which would be the snow, and staying on rocks and branches and things when all the other kids went home or even during. I played with him a lot. Lizzy got concerned that I was drifting away from the group. I didn't bother to explain. Jack was plenty of fun and I got Lizzy to join in sometimes, even though she still kept up the joke that she couldn't see Jack.

Once, I still don't know how, Jack made these ice-thingies appear from the ground. I don't know how, but it was like a little statuette of a bird made out of ice. When I took it home to Mom, she said it was a Swan. I liked swans a lot after that. I put it as my last name a lot, just because it was fun. It was a lot more entertaining than Smith.

Then, came the day I had to leave. I was going to Phoenix, away from the cold and snow. Jack said he'd miss me and I really would miss him too. I told him to visit me and he said he wouldn't be able to do that. I asked why and he said it was because he didn't like places more than a certain distance from Canada. That made me laugh. I think it was funny when he said it. It was something like "Canadian bacon is so close here-" no that's stupid. It was probably something like: "What would the Canadians do without me? I'm leading the invasion into America, buddy." Okay. Not that either. It was a funny joke, believe me.

So, that was how I met Jack. And now that I think about it, I think I still kind of have a crush on him. I mean, I think I may just be gawking over any guy that reminds me of him. I shouldn't gawk anymore. He was fun, but keeping a straight, expressionless face for longer made him funnily annoyed as he tried to make me smile. Maybe I should be more straight-faced. I probably shouldn't crack many jokes either.

I don't know, maybe I'm being too analytical. But, I think I still might act ridiculous if I see some boy with pale, cold skin and a pretty face. It's some kind of memory thing. It won't even matter if he has no personality; it'll be Jack in my mind.- Oh drat. There was no plot here. Sorry. I'll pick a better story to tell next time.

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**Robin: I am not sorry for the OOC Bella. Yep, Jack Frost is the reason Bella is how she is. That is what happened! I will believe it to my grave!- Not really, but still. And this was fun. I'm going to go watch Santa Clause 3 now.**

**Fangirls: Go watch ROTG!**

**Robin:...okay. No complaints here. Just... the hoodie-**

**Fangirls: GO!**


End file.
